If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
