I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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