A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize