I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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