Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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