this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
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