she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
