just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
