I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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