I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
