I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
either way he was missing a nipple.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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