The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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