IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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