i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
