You work out of a Hotel?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
