why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
