I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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