You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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