to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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