she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
