Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
