Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
