he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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