i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
There are leaves in my underwear?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Shame is for Republicans.
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