M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
