i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
