He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
