I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
