i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
