I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
