all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
