You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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