You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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