I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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