They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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