my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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