just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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