My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
