She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
