its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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