Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
