We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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