i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
