My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
