They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Two words: nipple clamps
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