I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize