dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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