i permit you to call me
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
