So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
