Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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