Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
