one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Drake has all the answers
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
