Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
