guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize