We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it hurts more in the daytime
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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