Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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