So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
