i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
