i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
