We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
