just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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