my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she looked like the before picture.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
