is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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