How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
