he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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