My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
