theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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