I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
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Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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