The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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