is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
